Okay, full disclosure – If either my husband or I came from great amounts of wealth, we’d have most likely – happily – let someone else foot the bill for our festivities. . . But, we do not, and that was perfectly fine. It actually turned into something so much more special.
Here’s why . . .
#1 – Budgeting
We spent a year and a half saving for The Big Day. What’s the rush?? Honestly – if everything goes according to plan you are going to be spending ALOT of time together (perhaps, the rest of your life) – take your time to budget and save – together. This gave us a brilliant understanding of value and what each of us valued. What our priorities were and finding the right fit that aligned with our priorities. I remember a meeting with the florist – we were using lanterns on certain tables as centerpieces – the florist quoted us a $25/lantern rental price – guess what – you can buy those exact same lanterns from IKEA for 9.99 – so that’s what we did. And we’ve used them on our back deck since then and have loaned them out (free of charge) to be used in two other family weddings. They are pretty handy. Planning a wedding teaches you a new level of thrift.
#2 – Teamwork
We worked together to find deals and DIY-ed a lot of it – my husband designed every invitation – our website (caralovesdave.com) as well as a welcome sign for the entrance of the reception. He’s professionally creative – so that was a gift. We went to second-hand stores to get some antique suitcases for our card table – you really can turn all of this into an adventure that you’re setting off on together. Almost every piece of the wedding has a great memory of finding that item or how it came to be.
#3 – Connections
We relied on our super creative friends. Who do you know that is kicking off a photography business or starting a DJ business or can connect you with a discount on your cake etc. You know more people than you think – that can help you. We also connected with a young wedding planner that was just getting started and she had lots of connections already to get discounts – it helped to have an extra hand the day of. We became friends with her over the course of the months and we paid her the day of the wedding only to find she had left us a wedding card – with a check for the EXACT SAME AMOUNT we paid her. So that was silly and free.
#4 – Accomplishment
We made it happen – WE DID IT – it’s a lot of work – you are planning a huge party for over 100+ people (feel free to go way smaller) – coordinating moving them from space to space, parking, pictures, feeding them, etc. Even if it wasn’t your wedding – party planning is NO JOKE. But pulling this off (and there were some snags . . . please see below*) feels like, together we can accomplish a lot more than we ever thought before this.
#5 – Ownership
Overall the take away that was of the highest value in doing this ourselves – is that it is completely YOURS – the comments we got from friends & family – that said how much the day felt ‘like us’ was a real gift. It did feel like us and when you get a compliment – it’s absolutely yours – not your Mom’s or Dad’s doing – You did that – your husband made that – you found that great deal. There was very little pressure to appease anyone else other than each other. It honestly is a beautiful way to kick off your life together – throwing a huge party for each other and your family and friends. It can be overwhelming at times, but so can life – so knowing that you have each other’s backs and are a team – to me, that’s the best wedding present of all.
Snag alert (*My husband lost our car keys at some point during the day of the wedding, so when we woke up the next morning – we couldn’t leave the hotel . . . but it’s a funny story NOW.)
Here’s a peak of how everything turned out…
